I am beat. Cooked. Fried.
Have I been calling this a vacation? Don't believe me for. a. second.
This is hard work.
Hauling Bridger to and fro', in and out - without his comforts, equipment and such while being solo with 5 kids has been exhausting. Fun, but exhausting.
To balance all the guilt that accumulates during the year for the others that constantly sacrifice for their brother, I promised an adventure. I promised them that I wouldn't be tired or busy or overwhelmed. I promised them 100% of my time. I promised them that I would be "Adventure Mom". The problem is, Adventure Mom is burned out and she wants to be "Just Go Watch TV for Two Hours While We Stay in our PJ's 'Til Noon Mom". But the pressure that I feel to make sure every minute that I am not consumed with Bridger is used for their benefit, I have to be Adventure Mom.
I promised daily adventures and talked up all of the wonderfully exciting things we would do every single day while their brother was in physical therapy. That is proving to be a tall order to deliver.
I am delivering, but the past few days I have barely been putting one foot in front of the other. I am a weary soldier barely still fighting the good fight.
But yesterday, the Cavalry arrived in the form of Bridger's blond bombshell, Jordain.
I have been able to take a full and complete breath for the first time in two weeks.
She has jumped in, taken over and her very presence is reviving me.
She cares for Bridger. She is bathing him (very challenging in this bathroom setup), she is lifting and carrying him (also very challenging - he feels like he has gained 10 pounds in the past week), she comforts him, motivates him in therapy. She jumps into the splash pad fully clothed without hesitation while I get to stay dry. She does the dishes, feeds kiddos, tucks them in and is all around awesome. I think I will survive another week.
Everyone needs a Jordain in their life. Keep looking elsewhere, however. This one is spoken for!