November 13, 2014

What's Your Goal?

When my alarm sounded at 0:dark-thirty this morning I awoke to rustling and banging coming from my kitchen.  It was my 13 year old son, who had set his alarm for an even earlier hour, making a full breakfast for the family.  He had warned me of his intended surprise last night by informing me that I was to stay in bed in the morning while he made breakfast for everyone, and that he would be getting Bridger ready for school as well.  I smiled at his instructions to me last night, and smiled again this morning as I heard him bringing his intention to fruition.

I asked Alan to go downstairs and see if Lance needed any help.  Alan found Lance handling the breakfast preparation quite well, but offered his assistance.

"Actually, Dad, I am fine here," he said, "what I could use is you going upstairs and getting Bridger ready for me.  The goal here is not the breakfast, but it is to make Mom happy."

Could more insightful words be spoken by a 13 year old?

He knew the goal.  The goal had nothing to do with how well breakfast was prepared.

I was grateful for his sweet gestures to me this morning, but I was even more grateful for the important reminder that statement was for me.

I needed to be reminded today, and every day, of the goal here and why I am doing what I am doing.  Just like Lance, my goal today is make them happy, and even easier than that, to make them feel love.

All of the activities, extra curricular interests and appearances that we sign our children up for - is it to support our purpose or is it becoming our purpose?   

I was walking out of an activity with my daughter a while back as another child was leaving that same activity in front of us.  Her father was twenty paces ahead of her yelling for her to hurry up because she was going to be late for her next activity.  That angry exchange went on for several minutes until they exited the building and got into their car - the child in complete tears and the irritated father revealing a select vein in his forehead.  It was a reminder to me that what activities I do sign my children up for, what assignments I volunteer for, what goes on in our home and outside of my home should be fulfilling my goal.  My goal will not challenged by overwhelming weekly schedules.  My purpose is not to present them in all their talented glory in every venue possible.  My very calculated and methodical intention for them can be accomplished for free, inside my own home. 

Lance's goal was accomplished by a platter of waffles and some assistance for his brother.

My purpose in motherhood is far less complex than society makes it out to be.  If we remember our goal each day, then we might realize that all of those things that we are doing to for them aren't really in alignment with our goal, and therefore, things that we don't need to be doing at all. Amazingly then, mothering just became a lot more simple than many know it to be.

I feel no guilt about growing my recycling bin of all the catalogs of vast recreational opportunities, thickly stapled packets of after school activities, or products and offerings that come my way for their advancement.  I am not raising resumes.  I am raising someone's future wife or husband, I am raising someone's future mother or father, I am raising someone's neighbor, I am raising someone's friend.  The best prerequisites for each of those is fulfilled through my goal of filling them with happiness and love.

Thank you, son, for your reminder today that life is very simple indeed.  Your gift is being able to see the forest through the trees. 

Note to self: remember my goal